Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Rekindling Reflections


I hope you are all enjoying your spring season.  You may have been busy with spring cleaning  or preparations for the upcoming summer.  In the midst of your attempts to remain organized and structured, have you continued to take time for self-care?  I want to bring to your attention that May is the National Mental Health Awareness Month.  What better time to take care of you, your well-being, and personal growth?

Have you ever cleaned out your closet or a junk drawer and discovered a lost and forgotten treasured item beneath the mess?  Women often lose sight of their own treasured qualities when they become buried in daily responsibilities including jobs, marriage, children, etc.  At some point in life this leads to a feeling of being “lost” or “not knowing who I am”.  I often ask women in these circumstances “who are you”, “what do you like to do” and they respond with a blank look on their face.  

These are two questions I recommend you ask yourself on a regular basis.  A healthy response should include multiple layers that include others (ex: I’m a wife, I’m a mother) as well as responses that are strictly individual (ex: I’m athletic, I have a good sense of humor).  

Often woman do not realize they have lost sight of themselves until they are faced with drastic changes in their lives such as divorce, children moving out, death, etc.  A woman who becomes so enmeshed with the role of a wife that she loses her individuality would most certainly find it extra challenging to cope should she unfortunately experience a divorce.  A mother that neglects her marriage or time to herself will usually find herself experiencing negative feelings due to the imbalance in her life.

Doing some personal reflection on a regular basis will prevent you from finding yourself in these circumstances.  However, if you feel you are already struggling with this issues ask yourself these questions:
  • What did I use to enjoy doing? 
  •  What is preventing me from doing these things that I enjoy?
  • Can I find ways to experience this joy again?

Another powerful reflective exercise I recommend is to find a picture of yourself when you last felt happy and fulfilled with life.  Look at that picture and describe who you were at that time.  Consider what was making your life fulfilling.  In what ways can you reconnect with that person?  Keep in mind that life changes as we grow.  The idea is not to relive the life you were living in that picture, but to take pieces of that life and find a way to make it fit into your current life.

For example, a women in her 40’s is married and has two children.  She finds herself lately feeling depressed and unfulfilled.  She is unable to identify “who she is”.  This woman finds a picture of herself in her 20’s during a time she was very happy and enjoying life.  She described herself as being outgoing, social, and eager to explore the world.  The picture was taken in Italy during a trip with college friends.  The client was able to recognize that over the past 10 years her social life had completely diminished and she couldn’t remember the last time she traveled.  Although it was not possible for the client to socialize or travel as frequently as she was able to in her 20’s she was able to recognize ways she could incorporate socializing and traveling in her life on a smaller scale.  This tapped into some of her personal passions and immediately triggered some excitement she had desperately been needing.

So I leave you with this thought for the month.  Who are you and are you still connected with that person?
In addition, I want to take this opportunity to commit to my readers a much more active blog site this month and for months to follow.  I plan to provide an article at the beginning of each month related to an identified theme and have related inspirational quotes, poems, reflection tools, and resources prepared to share with you throughout the remaining days of the month. 

For your convenience, I welcome you to take a minute to submit your email on the left of your screen for regular updates sent directly to your inbox.

Happy Mental Health Awareness Month!

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