A Simple Season

Ready or not, the holidays are here!  Vacation’s are approaching, get-together’s scheduled, wish lists are made, and the house needs decorating.   Your time is limited and your budget is tight.  You want to make this holiday season joyful, but it feels inevitable it will be a recipe for chaos.  

Before you dive in head first, take time to consider what the holiday season represent’s for you.  Regardless of why or how you celebrate, you shouldn’t lose track of the purpose and meaning behind your traditions.  Otherwise, you may find yourself mindlessly going through the motions as if it were just another task on your “to do” list.  If you are unsure of the origin of your family’s holiday take some time to research it or ask an elderly family member.  Gathering this information may help you feel more connected with your roots and consequently make your tasks less stressful and more fulfilling.

If you find yourself overwhelmed during the holiday’s you have simply taken on too much and need to cut back.  There is nothing on your “to-do” list worth sacrificing your well-being.  Although your family loves your homemade desserts, they would undoubtedly accept a store made dessert if it meant you would be more relaxed and emotionally engaged in the celebrations.  Take a look at the tasks you are trying to accomplish.  Acknowledge that you would love to be able to carry out all of your wonderful ideas, but recognize it is simply not worth the stress.  What can you cut out completely and where can you take short-cuts?  

Finances will cause tension for many this holiday season.  The good news is you don’t need a dime to find relief in this department, you need to change the way you think about your spending.  If you think back to your holiday’s over the years, what first comes to mind?  Chances are the traditions stick out the most including people, rituals, places, and emotions.  You may remember some special gifts that you received, but they are likely a minor piece of your recollection.   This is because what is valued most in the long term are the memories NOT the materials!

Regardless, the fact is, we live in a materialistic world.  It is difficult to resist the multi-billion dollar marketing schemes trying to convince us the amount of money we spend on people is representative of how much we love them.  When you don’t have the money to spend anyway it is a great opportunity to re-evaluate what is really important to you and your family during this time of year.  What are the core values you strive to live by?  Here are a few ideas to jog your brain:

•         Generosity
•         Honesty
•         Thoughtfulness
•         Flexibility
•         Considerate of Others
•         Respect
•         Responsibility
•         Open-Minded
•         Loyalty
•         Forgiveness
•         Empathy
•         Appreciative
•         Patience
•         Self-Confidence

Do the holidays have a tendency to pull you away from your values or bring you back in touch with them?  How do you model these values for your children?  

Consider the following example.  Your sixteen year old daughter wants a $100 pair of designer jeans for Christmas.  All her friends have a pair and she claims she will look like a dork if she doesn’t have a pair too.  She is a straight “A” student and doesn’t get into any trouble.  You would love to buy her the things she wants, however, it is definitely out of your budget.   You start feeling guilty for not being able to provide her the things she deserves.   You so desperately want to see the look on her face when she opens that box with her new designer jeans.  Your only option is to put it on the credit card and deal with it later.  Sound familiar?  This encourages self-gratification (I get what I want, when I want it, regardless of the consequence – debt).  Several adults are in dept up to their ears because of this single issue.

The alternative is to resist the temptation and buy a less expensive pair of jeans that is affordable to your budget.  This decision may be supplemented by engaging your child in a conversation regarding the family finances and its limits.  Consider how this decision supports some of the values listed above.  You have just set an example of being honest about your situation and responsible enough not to spend money you do not have.  You have required your child to be open-minded and flexible based on the circumstances.  In time your child will learn they do not need name brand items to fit in.  This will encourage self-confidence.  If they still want the pair of jeans they must be patient and save for it over time.  Any negative feeling‘s your child may have as a result will be temporary while the lessons learned will last a lifetime!

Anyone can walk into Hallmark and pick a gift off the shelf.   Gifts that are often more appreciated can actually cost less.  In exchange for money, use your creativity and talents for gift giving this year.  Do you enjoy baking, sewing, carpentry, art, photography, crafts, etc.?  Get your spouse and/or kids involved.  Working together in order to give is a great way to spend quality time.  Consider searching the internet for ideas outside of the box.   You have more to give than your pocket book.

Once the hustle and bustle dies down, evaluate how you feel about your new approach to the Holiday’s.  Hopefully, you have discovered that keeping the season simple is worth the increased time and closeness with your family and loved ones.  If you were successful in staying within your budget, you will probably notice relief of not having to cope with buyer’s remorse.  Now that you have established a new norm and expectations for the Holiday’s you will find it easier to face next year.  You should feel satisfied and proud of yourself for remaining grounded while the world of retail continues to spin around you.  Maybe you set an example to those around you who may consider following in your footsteps next year.  

A woman who learns to accept personal limits is stronger and healthier than a woman who attempts to be the "best".